I am not Scrooge

Before you knight me as the Ebenezeria Scrooge of our generation, I will tell you about the value of Christmas, to me. It is a time to celebrate and love one another because JC does. Some how we have made it the time for us to get temporary amnesia about our financial crisis and splurge. I myself have suffered from this self-inflicted amnesia, however the pain that hit me after January first was too great for me to have a repeat performance. So now I keep things in perceptive, I say "I love you" more often during Christmas, smile more and then have my sanity and the ability to pay my bills in January. All this to say...I am a sorry student with a sorry bank balance. Merry Belated Christmas to you! Hah!

Insomniac

In my sleeplessness, I had wonderful entries prepared for today. I was going to write my little heart out (I have a small fist, therefore my heart must be small). To my dismay, here I am drawing a blank. What was that grand idea I had? Really need some memory drugs, something to help me remember important things. Well, now I am at work and surviving on 3 hours of sleep. (yawn)...

(Laughing)

I love comedy, no I don't mean sappy British comedy but Seinfeld stuff. That is relentless and unforgiving. It laughs blatantly at others and enjoys it. Does this make me a horrible person? I am witty to a fault, I make lame jokes that I only wish could make me as popular as Ellen, minus the homosexuality. (I hear the male is much too precious for me to opt for a same sex partner.)Ahem.

Anyway where was I? Ah, yes, comedy. So, I love comedy that celebrates both our weaknesses and strengths but mostly our weaknesses. Isn't it the acknowledgement and laughter at our humanness and flaws that allows us to live another day?

Well it's early in the morning (1.00am) and I should be resting my pretty big head now, yes my head is pretty and it's big. haha, I crack me up. Ahem, excuse the lame joke. Is it safe for one to be one's own best fan, because I am mine.

Two Thousand and Four

I can't freaking believe it! The year is almost over! Bloody painful year it has been. No actually, it was bittersweet. Love, pain, laughter, tears...the whole nine yards. If I wasn't so reserved or paranoid I would tell all the sordid details, but I have this idea that I will be famous and then all my revelations could bite me in the ass. So I will spare any possible eyes that ravenously read blogs from the life of the dancingseahorse! hah!

So this year I learned that I should send e-mails to people I love more frequently than every six months. It takes a death for me to see that. Talk about dumbass. When I hurt I tend trivialize my pain and loss, as I am doing at this moment. Anyway the person I lost will never be replaced.

This year I actually learned how lovable I am too. I mean this guy just landed into my space and just loved me. I am usually confused though, I think he loves someone I know and not me. I simply think I am far too difficult to love and yet here is one who has not found that out, yet. As I am now accustomed to being twice deeped in love, what a raw ball of emotion I will be if he ever discovers that I am difficult and a little unbearable. Okay this is not low self-esteem. It's not! It's just an allergic reaction that flares up now and then from being tossed around by some thoughtless imbeciles.

Anyway, Happy New Year to me, and those who read this blog. I hope you had less pain and more laughter than I did this past year.

Be great, be glamorous, be creative, be lovely, want it all dammit!

Metro Life

There is a woman I see several times a week as I wait for the subway. She has raised my curiosity but I dare not satisfy it. However, I will state what raised it in the first place...

She sometimes wears a hijab (Muslim head dress) and she does not sometimes. This is puzzling because, I wonder so is she Muslim some days and not on others?

Another thing she does which leaves me both disgusted and amazed is that she can spit. She spits further than any woman I have ever seen. After seeing this several times, "I thought maybe we can start the Spitolympics." I bet she would be one of the finalists.

Living in the metropolis as I do, I see the strangest things but keep walking because...well it is part of living in the city. This afternoon a woman who probably had waited or ran to catch a bus watched the driver shut the door in her face. All she could do was scream obscenities at the driver as he pulled away...It was also avery cold and windy afternoon and waiting for a bus is especially unpleasant at such times. He (the driver) controlled his little world (the bus) and, must have felt great. Let's hope the bus to heaven won't be driven by him...assuming we will be taking a bus to heaven...

The Statue of David

Have you seen the statue of David? It is the standard for what a male should look like. The legs, the torso, the derrire...yes it is wonderful. So I think that Michangelo knew what the male body ought to look like. It's 2:26 in the morning and I am watching something about Italy, David just happen to be part of the documentary. Before you point out my shallow, superficial opinion, I fully appreciate great art which is what the statue of David is. However, I still maintain that it sets the standard of what the male should look like. So there.