New Intern Orientation....not joyful?!

Today I was welcomed into the world of being a surgical intern...verbally. I was encouraged to learn as much as I can from the numerous long hours to come. I was told that I should watch out for the burnout that is quite common during the first year of residency training. In order to illustrate just how serious this burnout is....examples were given of a young doctor who shot himself in front of his chiefs. Point taken. If I was happy, this morning's stories like the one I just shared just sucked it out of me.

I despise feeling overwhelmed, like I need someone, but anyway after such an enlightening day, I came home with the goal of paying my bills. Once again...not a great situation. I wrote my checks...fretting to myself about how, I do not understand why I thought I knew how to handle money. Also about how I have no other source...I hate it when I start feeling this way. I have always figured it out. Since I was 17 and had to start taking care of myself. So while I fret about my bills...and how I am going to handle my stress. I need to remember I am not alone.

While I am not religious...only because I do not think anyone is right or wrong about a Creator existing. I would rather not choose one. It keeps me open-minded and I do not have to particularly follow an organization. I am not very good at that.

So my point being...I do pray/talk to the Creator about my problems. I strongly believe help comes to those who help themselves. As opposed to sitting around and praying about it. So we talk, mostly a one-sided conversation and I handle my business. Way too many wonderful things have happened to me so I do not think I am not looked after. Sometimes I think it's my mother's and grandmother's prayers being answered, because they pray much more than I do.

So today I am thankful that all my family is well, that all my friends are well and that I too, am well. I am thankful that I am not starving to death nor is anyone I know. I am thankful for the opportunities that I have been given to make a difference.

I feel better now.

Goodnight.